eyeroll.net

Hiatus

Hello people:

Obviously I've been nearly incapable of blogging regularly over the past few months, there's just been too much going on, and I haven't been completely happy with the blog for a long time. Iwon't be shutting it down, but if I'm going to continue, I'll revamp it, and I won't have time to do that any time soon.

Thanks so much for reading along, I'll be back when I'm in more creative head space and I feel like there's anything interesting to write about. Right now's just not that time.

Stay sane over the holidays,

Amanda

So

To say that I don't go into personal stuff here is pretty much untrue. "I" is such a featured word on this blog, but that's sort of unavoidable. It's probably more accurate to say that I don't reallywant to write about myself and what's going on in my life. On the other hand, this is important: I'm actively diabetic again.

Some of my readers never knew me while I was diabetic. I was diagnosed as a child, had no complications until after I turned 30, and then everything went to hell. Six years ago I received a simultaneous kidney-pancreas transplant. The kidney from that one didn't work out, but I still had the pancreas until about ten days ago, when it failed quickly and miserably.

Guess that explains why I've been sick and couldn't seem to get better. When the body has to fight an auto-immune disorder, and immunosuppressant drugs, that's hard; in concert, that's impossible.

Anyway, I'm working on it. As per usual, I have the support of an excellent medical team. The new guy, Dr. Adam Pearlman, who recently joined my nephrologist's group, has been amazing. Unlike a lot of MDs, he made an effort to get to know me a little bit. He introduced himself by his first name, and he made an effort to get me in to see one of the better endocrinologists in the DC area, who actually specializes in type 1 diabetes.

None of this has been easy on me. I'll go back on the transplant list to get a new pancreas, mostly so I can protect the second kidney, which used to belong to an incredible person. But also, if were to choose life as a diabetic, I'd be a ticking time bomb, vulnerable to all sorts of things. The lows, which come almost every day, terrify me more than anything. And the thing is, I've never been able to control them. I was always so scared of my blood sugar going too high that I deliberately kept it low. It would crash, and the bounceback caused nerve damage, which eventually caused nerve damage significant enough to destroy my kidneys and severely impair my eyesight.

I had a moment there, as I was flirting with a coma, in which I asked myself: you done yet? Ready to give up? Isn't it time to rest?

The answer to all those questions is no, still. I'm not sure why. Spinning one's wheels can be as wearying as actual movement, and I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop for quite a while now.

Point being, I might as well live.

New Feature: Letters to Popular Songs

Dear "Lips of an Angel":

I regret to inform you that you are currently the most annoying song on radio. Your band, Hinter (or is it Hinder? I can't tell), has a creepy jones to be Nickleback, and that's a large part of the problem, but you'd still be stupid if a different performer tried to do something with you.

For one thing, the Angel Lips on the phone probably isn't any better than the current girlfriend in the next room. She's your ex, and maybe you never had breakup sex, but if she were still sitting on the couch with PMS watching "Stepmom" on cable clutching a tissue, she'd still be a pain. But now she's gone. She's taken that lstrawberry-flavored lipgloss with her on a trip to the land of the girls whose pants you can't get into, which makes her that much better than the girl who's in the living room, or the kitchen, or the conservatory, or whatever the next room is who glares at you for leaving the seat up.

Man, remember when you were with Angel Lips? Things were so much better back then. Maybe you should see if she'd get back together with you... or if she'd just meet you at some cheap motel on the outskirts of town. There could be a whole 'nother song about that! And then one about how Couch Girl kicked your ass...

More than likely Angel Lips just called to say she left some bath gel under your sink, and that was expensive bath gel, and could you drop it by the front desk of her workplace, because she'd like it back--but not enough to see your ugly mug to get it.

So here's my easy solution to your problems: Go take a shower and whack off, which will get your hormones in check. Then pack up whatever it is she wants, drop it off, shut up about it, and I won't tell Couch Girl that you've been thinking about cheating on her.

And don't worry too much. Panic! at the Disco's terrier of a song is nipping at your heels.

On behalf ofthe listening public,

Eyeroll

Mustard!

Yes, Adam, I've been away again, distracted from blogging by my lingering upper respiratory infection and my switch to the night shift. I promise I'm not dead. (I like the night shift, by the way. Unlike most people, I got my life back by working when I'd otherwise be sleeping.)

So the other night when I was stocking the grocery aisle, I screamed with delight when I opened a box and pulled out a short jar with a green lid. The Garlic Aioli Mustard Sauce is back on Trader Joe's shelves. I *heart* mustard, and I was mad as hell at Corporate for axing my two favorites. (No word on the also-departed Sake Wasabi Mustard, which found itself disco'd after getting a great write-up in the New York Times.)

The other guys on the night crew were not impressed at my gushing over the wonder that is the aioli mustard--"crazy white girl"-- but I think I convinced at least one of them to try it.

Other new stuff at TJ's includes a fantastic flourless chocolate cake, perfect for when you have to bring a dessert, or when a friend breaks up with her mate, priced at $6.99. The new Tarte Chocolate d'Amande is larger, but not as purely perfect as the plain chocolate. If I loved almonds, I'd probably like it more.

And then there's the frozen Mac and Cheese. Now, this doesn't sound like a good idea, but it really is. No crossing-guard orange powder to get all over the place when you open the packet, and if you're out of milk, you can still have your mac and cheese. It's not quite up to my homemade, but I use whatever cheese I happen to have, and sometimes that results in greatness. The frozen mac and cheese heats up in the microwave in about five minutes; put some pepper on it and go to town. I'm pretty sure it gives the most satisfaction $3.29 can buy.

I live...

Sorry about the absence, dear readers. First I was offline for a couple of weeks due to moving. Then I was busy opening the new store, and now I'm sick.

I thought it was just a cold--you know, perfectly normal stuff--but I'm not so sure now. Whatever I have started with a mild sore throat Tuesday night at work, by the time I got home my throat was extremely sore, and then whatever it is moved into my lungs, so I can't breathe without the inhaler.

Life doesn't look good right this minute. I know I ought to go to a hospital, but I don't want to get myself admitted. Last time I was admitted to a hospital I ended up briefly addicted to morphine and had to detox over a very unpleasant day and a half. I know that sounds like nothing from the point of view of a hardcore drug addict, but it was a big-ass deal for me.

Anyway, if I'm still having problems in the morning I'll get myself to a hospital. If I feel better, I'll go to work. Either way it'll be something.

If you like house porn

I found this dude via a Google search that couldn't be less related to interior design. Y'all know how much I love randomness, but his projects seem to be easy for an ordinary person to do, and remarkably tasteful, all things considered.

He has some cool ideas that wouldn't break the bank, or require the help of a professional. So here you go.

Jonathan Fong Style.

Now officially on notice

This is courtesy of my pal, Doug. Thanks for the link, dude.

You can make your own, if you want.

Note: I've never been able to get through an entire Colbert Report. I still like the idea of the show more than the show itself, but I love that I can make a list of things that annoy me and should go away immediately, and get a cool-ass graphic to substitute for a useful or insightful blog entry.

A Clunker from TJ's, and soon to be discontnued items

The Ginger Peanut Noodle Salad isn't new, but I hadn't tried it before. It sells for $2.99, if I remember correctly, and it's located in the refrigerated section, but not the one with the milk.

This dish looks fine in its little clear plastic carton, and I figured it'd be tasty, if maybe a little salty. I was wrong; the noodles are bland and the peanuts are mushy. Ginger? What ginger?

I topped half of mine with stir fry the other night and gave up after a few bites. Just not into it. Tonight I used chopped fresh veggies (carrot, red pepper, onion and parsley) along with about a cup of frozen snap peas and made a new dressing with garlic, fresh ginger, white balsamic vinegar and sesame oil plus a bit of teryaki sauce that I needed to use up. Dressed like that, the whole thing was better, though I could have done the same thing with buckwheat noodles and come out way ahead on price.

At three bucks, it's not a bad base for a cold noodle salad, but when you could do better by cooking your own noodles and chopping up some peanuts, this product kind of doesn't make sense.

The only thing from the latest disco list that might interest you is the mango salsa. It's way too sweet for me, but some people like that kind of thing. If you're a fan, you might want to stock up now. Also, if you like the bargain Cafe Duran at $3.99 a pound, it's going away. This should come as no surprise.

If you get your Scharffen Berger chocolate at TJ's for the bargain price of $1.99 per bar, the 80 percent and 72 percent cocoa bars are going away, which is too bad. I've done my damnest to sell the 80 percent bars; that's some good chocolate.

It's funny what you notice about yourself

Earlier this evening, I saw a photograph on a friend's blog that she took of me with a piece of Bad Public Art, which you could find down at the Reagan Center for Statesmanship or Something if you were visiting Washington.

Now, I've made no secret of the fact that I've lost a lot of weight in the past six months. I wasn't trying to lose weight, it just sort of happened. I know I look different than I did a year ago. The first thing I noticed about this picture is that I ought to have put my purse on the ground, because it's sort of hanging in the middle of the shot in an unfortunate way.

Then I noticed the boobs. Wow, I didn't think they were that, uh, prominent. If I were a guy, I'd notice them first. (Many, if not most of them, can't help it.) That's kind of embarrassing. For the record, I wear a size 34 C bra. The bra I wore that day had no padding whatsoever, and doesn't do much in terms of uplift. (My twenties are a memory now, and gravity has not been my good friend these many years.) Whatever it's worth, in that picture, it's all me. I wasn't even standing up straight.

I guess it's a testament to the discretion of my male friends that not one of them bothered to tell me that all of a sudden, my breasts are front and center. (Well, one of them did, but the dress I was wearing that day was too big, and they were kind of falling out of its fairly low-cut bodice. I made a note of it; guy-friend-in-question sort of smirked and said there was nothing wrong with that.)

I should link the picture so you can see for yourself, but I'm not going to. I'm willing to talk about my reaction, but I'm not willing to point you in the direction to gawk. Not that I think any of you would gawk.

Body-image adjustment is a strange thing to have to do.

If you are going to Hawaii...

Do yourself a favor and get some Macadamia Nuts with Sweet Onion and Garlic. This food reduced me to babbling "oh my god! so very good" in the middle of the store the other night.

(We don't carry them at TJ's. A customer brought back from Hawaii for me, which was awfully nice of her. Apparently I did her some sort of favor, which I think involved an adhesive bangage, one time when she came through my line, so she brought me a present from her recent trip to Hawaii.)

This snack is a very nice macadamia, and it's flavored with onion and garlic. The result is like a sublime version of a sour cream and onion potato chip.

It's possible to order these treasures online if you're not bound for the islands any time soon. This packaging is six small cans for $19.99, probably plus shipping and handling.